'First, we think that to have a good relationship we need to be attractive, perfect, powerful, sexy, interesting, thin or some other long list of ways we measure ourselves and others. What is more important is that we listen and then we share our identity - our real self. The most powerful attractant is to be receptive and interested in our partner and in what is meaningful to them. The most powerful bond that we share our real self, from the heart, and create trust and tolerance between us.
Second, we must learn to manage negative feelings and consciously use positive feelings to work out any problems. The most deadly feelings to a relationship are projection of superiority over the other, non-responsiveness, defensiveness and constant criticism.
Non-responsiveness is a profound form of withdrawal when you frequently use defensiveness, or deflect input and avoid responsibility to take actions to improve or correct the situation.'
text from Yoga Teacher level 2 manual Authentic Relationships p. 54
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